synopsis

Bodil and Torgunn fell in love when they both worked for a famous candle making factory. It was a whirlwind romance. Bodil was an artisan, who made beautiful candles, while Torgunn, a marketer, traveled for work a lot. After a few years, the happy couple noticed that Bodil was having trouble remembering simple things and tasks at work. They sought out medical care and were devastated by the diagnosis. Bodil has early-onset Alzheimer’s at the too-young age of 47.

The film follows Bodil through a day at the licensed adult day care farm, Lillehov, from her morning arrival in the van, to breakfast, walks, songs, group activities, and ongoing tasks like gardening and raising chicks from eggs. Torgunn and Dawn join the community for a meal, and feel the embodiment of Hygge, Scandinavian coziness. The care staff lead the group in a news quiz. Leaders explain the philosophy and practical reasons behind the activities. Bodil and her friends feel useful. They make jam from their own produce or bake bread for sale to the public. One man does woodworking and makes birdhouses.

Interspersed with these scenes is the story of how and why Bodil and Torgunn chose this option for ongoing quality of life. Bodil likes being around people her own age and is still very social. Bodil and Torgunn live in Norway, a country with a mandate as a Dementia Friendly society. Experts explain that care is provided by the State starting with a compassionate Dementia Care team of specialists, and community-based care options and activities. People living with Alzheimer’s and Other Dementias (AAOD) are not hidden away from society. Care teams actively support both the person living with AAOD, and their loved ones who care for them.

For now, Bodil is happy, engaged and active with the community at the Farm. But it is not all smooth sailing. Despite the evident love and care for each other that they still feel, and the charm of Bodil’s still clear sense of humor, Torgunn has misgivings about her uncertain future, and her own needs for time and respite. 

An update of the six years since first visiting Bodil and Torgunn will be shot in a planned one-week visit. The years of caregiving have taken their toll on Torgunn. Torgunn shares the horrible effect the COVID pandemic had on their lives, helped by the kindness of their local community, how Bodil’s condition has progressed, and the deep concerns and extreme stress Torgunn experiences in her increasingly demanding role as a caregiver. Bodil now lives in a local assisted living facility but comes home to Torgunn on the weekends. The years of caregiving have taken their toll on Torgunn. She had left her job in order to care for Bodil, but now she feels even more uncertain about her own future as she confronts the loneliness that comes with being a long term caregiver.